A Malaise of the Closet

I've been struggling with something recently, Fabulous Readers.

I've been struggling with getting dressed.

This morning, for example, I spent a hour trying to get dressed. An hour! And I ended up in.... jeans and a T-shirt.

Purple striped T-shirt, Martin + Osa, thrifted

Jeans, Victoria's Secret, remixed

Shoes, John Fluevog "Choice Hi," remixed

Cute jeans and a T-shirt, yes, and there's nothing wrong with jeans and a T-shirt, per se, but still - after an hour of effort, the best I could salvage from my (not unfull) closet was jeans and a bloody tee.

I don't know what happened to my fashion mojo, where it went, or how to get it back. Every single thing in my wardrobe seems unappealing, even though I know I picked each item with care and consideration.

Part of it's my body and my image of it. I've been slack about going to the gym, for no good reason at all. I know I should love my body Just The Way It Is - but I don't. It's not that I'm unhappy with my size, it's that I'm unhappy with my shape. And texture. A month or so away from the gym means a slightly broader waist, looser upper arms, and a general lack of nice, firm muscle tone. They're small differences, but they loom large.

Another part of it's summer. There are a lot of things I love about summer. I love the long, lazy evenings when the light never seems to fade. I love the heat that seeps into my bones and the bright sunlight. I love gardening (check out my spiffy new shade garden behind me! I put that in this past weekend). I love cooking dinner on the grill every night for a week straight. I love tall, fizzy cocktails. I love pies made from fruit that was on the tree that morning.

I don't love summer clothes. At all.

I can't layer in summer, for one. If you're lucky, you can get away with a camisole under a tank in summer, or a light jacket over a dress. Much more than that, and you braise gently in your own clothes (particularly if, like mine, your house isn't air conditioned). Yuck. I didn't realize how much I'd come to depend on the ability to stack layer upon layer of texture, color and pattern to create visual interest, until I couldn't do it without courting heatstroke.

I also just don't like summer clothing. Floaty, barely-there dresses don't flatter or even contain my figure. Light, unstructured fabrics are cool and comfortable, but usually make me look dumpy. Strapless dresses are a nightmare at my bra size. I love my curvy rear, but the pair of shorts that'll fit it gracefully, without gapping at the back waist, cutting in at the leg openings, or bunching up in the crotch has yet to be sewn.

 Tangle of silver necklaces, including a pendant from Jenn Feldman Glass (remixed), tiny crescent moon pendant Fabulous Husband bought me because it reminded him of my tattoo (remixed), and the amethyst ring I wore while he and I were engaged.

photos: Fabulous Husband

Am I whining a little (a lot)? You bet. Am I aware of how bratty, overprivileged, and ridiculous my complaint is - not even that I have no clothes to wear, but that I have a whole lot of clothes and simply don't want to wear them? Absolutely.

Does that in any way mitigate my frustration at my inability to present a coherent image with which I'm happy to the world, or my distress in finding no enjoyment in the process of getting dressed, only aggravation?

Not at all.

Have you ever gotten to a point where getting dressed felt like drudgery? How did you get through it? Better yet, how did you get out of it?

Gloomy Tuesday

Whoever ordered the chilly, rainy, grey skies, could you please take them back? I was really happy about the warm, sunny weather we were having. I know it can't be sunny all the time, and it's still March and all, but... please?

It's the sort of day that inspired me to sulk in bed all day, reading, maybe venturing to the kitchen for a cup of tea if I'm feeling bold. Sadly, I had Stuff To Do today, so that wasn't to be.

Time for another Dialing It In outfit! I guess I could take a page from Angie at You Look Fab and call these Fast Fall Back Outfits, but I somehow don't feel like that captures the sense of sheer sartorial uninspiredness I feel when I reach for these outfits. For me, they really are the wardrobe equivalent of macaroni and cheese: easy to make, not too demanding, and immensely comforting.

Military-style jacket: Ann Taylor Loft

Heart sweater: Absolutely Creative Worldwide, thrifted, remixed

Garnet necklace: depths of the jewelry box

Belt, Leather Worx

Jeans, Christopher Blue, thrifted

Shoes, John Fluevog, "Earth Angel Michael" (?)

I've always loved military-styled items, from pea coats to uniform jackets to webbing belts to combat boots. I don't really know why: I'm not from a family with a strong military tradition and I never even considered the armed forces as career options. Whenever I'm feeling a bit down and need to feel tough, though, I reach for items like this jacket.

I tried letting my hair air-dry, which is how I've always treated it, and I'm finding that I'm not happy with the results. Thankfully, it's short enough that damage from regular blowdrying won't be too bad.

Oh well. At least I still have snowdrops:

Does bad weather influence your mood or how you dress? What's your take on military-inspired clothing? Love it? Hate it? Does it have any meaning or significance for you?

Dialing it in, plus new haircut!

Some days, you don't have the energy to go all out. Those are the days when you dial it in: go for the tried-and-true, the old reliables, the ones that work. The routines you can fall into on autopilot without even thinking. This outfit is one I've worn but not posted before: it's super-comfy while still being stylish.

Trench: French Cuff, TJMaxx
Umbrella: Antique

Cowlneck tunic (ostensibly a dress): Fever, Marshall's

Layering tee: LnA, thrifted

Belt: Ann Taylor Loft

Leggings: Wild Rose, TJMaxx

Stripey socks: Smaller-Footed Super Stripes, Sock Dreams

Boots, John Fluevog, "Mallory"

 

Butterfly bits reversible pendant: estate sale

all photos: Fabulous Husband

I love the top picture: I feel like I'm channeling Audi from Fashion For Nerds (something about the take-no-prisoners pose and mischievous smile). She's definitely one of my inspirations for both style and blogging.

I'm still following along with the academichic Fashion 101 series. This week's theme is belting, a topic dear to my heart (and waist, natch). As an hourglassy girl, I find that belts are great allies in the fight to make sure my waist is visible between my full bust and hips. This outfit is a great example: an Empire-waist (babydoll) top like this tunic can make me look bulky or pregnant if the waistline hits right below the bust. By adding a broad belt, I can contain the fullness of the top, letting the flare of the skirt portion start a few inches lower and preventing any number of questions about my due date.

The pendant, by the way, is really made from the preserved wings of various butterflies (plus one tiny whole one), in a double-sided, brass-rimmed glass frame. I found it at an estate sale and was so intrigued and creeped out by it that I had to own it. Butterflies have long been a symbol for reincarnation and the eternal life of the soul: this little pendant is not only a pretty piece but has overtones of memento mori and Victorian mourning jewelry that I find rather comforting, in that weird way memento mori are.

Part of the reason I felt the need for a dial-it-in outfit was the weather. At least the snow's gone, and it's warm enough outside for a light coat instead of twenty pounds of wool, but it's been rainy, raw and windy for the past few days, and if there's anything that enervates me more than grey skies, it's unceasing wind. What better time for an outfit that feels like I'm pajamas all day long?

The rest of it is that haircut. I got it done on Friday, came home and took scissors to it myself because I managed a complete and utter communication fail with my usually wonderful hairdresser, then spent the weekend in abject misery. I'm only just now starting to come to terms with it, and I miss my old angle bob terribly. I'm still not sure that it works. It is entirely possible that you'll see an amazing upswing in scarves, hats and updos in the next few months - or maybe I'll come to terms with it.

Anyone who advised me against bangs is permitted one "I told you so," in print or in person.

So, Fabulous Readers, a question: I'm getting to the point where I'm featuring items that I've worn before. It's inevitable: my wardrobe isn't that extensive, no matter what Fabulous Husband says. Do you care? More precisely, do you want to know if something's been featured before (via a "remix" label or links to previous posts), or do you not really care? A show of hands would be appreciated.

What do you reach for on the days when you don't want to get dressed and face the world? Have you ever had a haircut you truly hated, and how did you deal with it?